Friday, 8 July 2011

Teetering on the Edge of the Unknown

Some people claim that the twelve step program of recovery is “a bridge to normal living”. Bully for them, is all I can say. I have no idea what constitutes normal living, but I know it’s not what I ever wanted – the very thought of it was enough to send me scurrying rat-like towards the bottle; to drink myself into a state of terminal hopelessness as fast as was humanly possible – and it’s just as well, because my post drinking life has turned out to be anything but.  Its resemblance to “normal” is – to say the least – slight. If I wanted normal living, I wouldn’t need a bridge; I’d need a rocket.

As time’s gone by I’ve become wildly eccentric. I don’t care anything about social convention or - if I’m honest - the world. The beliefs that dominated me over the first half of my life have been destroyed, and I am less and less bound by fear and desire. It has been a spiritual journey which has led me to this: teetering on the edge of the unknown, with no other choice than to jump.

I was always going to jump.


2 comments:

  1. Take the jump - there is no where to land...and no where to jump off...

    ps - love the picture

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 16, 2011

    How are you doing this jumping? Only the simple seeig that litteraly EVERYTHING is happening without a you DOING any of it will suffice!

    ReplyDelete