Sunday, 28 August 2011

Bill and Ebby

One day I decided I was going to kill myself.

The thing was, I had a lot of people relying on me. I wasn’t sure how I could do it, without them all being a bit disillusioned.

The thing is, you’ve got to realize: if someone wants to kill themselves, it’s their business. It doesn’t mean that the things that they believed in were wrong: it doesn’t mean the things they told you were wrong: take Marcel Proust. He had the answer to everything, but couldn’t live that way himself.

Take Ebby Thatcher. He gave Bill W. the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous but couldn’t stay sober himself.

Take Jesus.  He couldn’t let it go. He thought he was responsible for whether we got this or not.

It’s not Jesus’s fault we didn’t get it, nor Ebby Thatcher’s, nor Gandhi’s, nor anybody else’s.  When we’re ready we’re ready. When we’re not, we’re not.

I’m thankful to Jesus, to Gandhi, to Ebby Thatcher and to Bill and Bob who told me that whatever happened, it would be alright. And I’m thankful to the Father of Light who presides over us all, for giving me an opportunity to get my brain back. You’re a star.

Bill W. and Ebby Thatcher

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