When you know you're awareness, what else is there to know?
Well, nothing, that's what.
So how come I'm bored, irritable and restless?
Rajas, that pesky monkey. All over the place. Everywhere.
How come I don't feel superconfident in the knowledge? How come the knowledge seems to come and go?
The knowledge doesn't come and go, because the knowledge is you, and you are always present.
You are the one constant unchanging factor in your experience.
Experience changes, but that you experience does not. Or at least that there is experiencing, and there is the knowing of it. That is all there is. That is you.
Am I seperate from my experience?
Everything that occurs occurs within the scope of awareness. There is nothing outside of awareness.
In the waking state it seems as if we experience a mind, body and world. And it seems to be “out there”. Is it true?
No, because there is no “out there”. There is nothing outside of awareness, not that awareness has an outside. It is that in which all dualities express, but it is beyond duality and nonduality.
It is beyond such concepts as “beyond”, because it is all there is.
Therefore what I'm experiencing can only ever be awareness.
It seems like there's a multiplicity of things coming and going.
Yes, but they're all made out of you. You are the substance of them. You are the substance of the creation. You are what gives it existence, because you are existence.
Why can't I see it clearly?
Tamas. It makes the mind dull and stupid. But a state of mind is an object to you. It comes and goes. Therefore cultivate sattva.
How can I cultivate sattva?
Put your attention on awareness, not what appears in it, not what it appears to be. Put your attention on what is is. It is the knowing principle. It is your very essence; you are its essence.
Sometimes I think I'm not interested enough.
No, because that is just a thought appearing, in you, awareness. As is the thought that says you're doing it all great and really making progress.
Everything you experience is within you, made out of you and known only by you. You and experience and knowledge are one.
You are knowing and experiencing.